Relationship Goals: Why Being Equally Yoked Matters

Relationship Goals: Why Being Equally Yoked Matters

In today’s dating and marriage culture, “compatibility” often means shared interests, mutual attraction, or similar life goals. While these things are important, Scripture gives us a deeper standard for choosing a partner: being equally yoked.

What Does “Unequally Yoked” Mean?

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul writes:

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

A yoke was a wooden beam used to join two oxen together so they could plow in the same direction. If one ox was stronger or walked at a different pace, the work would be unbalanced and the field would be a mess.

The same is true in relationships—if two people are spiritually pulling in different directions, the journey will be filled with unnecessary strain.

Our Story

My husband Bryan and I have been married almost 40 years. We were recently telling someone our story, and I realized how much God’s Word on this topic shaped our lives.

Before we met, we both had many relationships, but none of them were with Christians. Deep down, both of us longed for something more—a partner who shared our faith and values. We began praying specifically for a Christian person in our lives.

And then God, in His perfect timing, placed us in the same apartment complex! We met shortly after, connected instantly, and of course—the rest is history. I am so grateful I listened to my spiritual mentors who urged me not to be unequally yoked. Looking back, I can see that obedience to that wisdom was the foundation for the marriage we enjoy today.

Why It Matters

1. Shared Foundation

A relationship built on Christ has a solid base. Without that shared faith, values will inevitably clash over marriage, parenting, finances, and priorities.

1. Unity in Purpose

Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?”

If your spiritual goals differ, your life goals will eventually drift apart too.

1. Spiritual Protection

A partner who shares your faith will pray with you, stand beside you in trials, and fight for your relationship with God’s help.

How to Guard Against Being Unequally Yoked

• Pray for Discernment – Ask God for wisdom before entering or committing to a relationship.
• Observe the Fruit – Look for evidence of faith in action, not just words (Matthew 7:16).
• Set Boundaries Early – Decide beforehand that you will only pursue a relationship with someone who shares your faith.
• Seek Godly Counsel – Let mentors and trusted believers speak into your decisions.

The Blessing of an Equal Yoke

When both people are submitted to Christ, they can walk in unity, purpose, and blessing. They encourage each other spiritually, face trials together with God’s strength, and leave a faith-filled legacy for the next generation.

Bryan and I are living proof—God doesn’t just want you to find love, He wants you to find the right love. And when you honor His standard, you open the door for His very best.