The Strength of Silence

The more things change, the more they stay the same. We are living in some rough times. But, it’s not the first rough times that have faced humankind and it won’t be the last.

While things seem frustrating, scary, terrifying even, we can remain calm and purposeful and deliberate and we can navigate our way into stability and then, success and happiness, even in these most trying of times. 

If you feel stuck or like you’re not moving forward, like you’re not arriving where you want to get, or, if you’re stuck by fear or frustration, you’re in the company of lots of other people who feel the same way. 

But, you truly can change all that. And it’s by the gifts you already have in your possession – your motivation, your solid thinking, your commitment to you – that you will succeed and see a happy person looking back at you in the mirror. 

Let’s start by imagining where we want to get to. 

Imagine a time in your life when you felt as though everything was right. Take a moment to think back. When was it? 

All your cylinders were clicking in perfect rhythm. You felt secure. You were looking forward to something. You were smiling. You stood tall and you felt optimistic and peaceful. You were happy. You were doing what you wanted to be doing. No worries that seemed insurmountable. No disappointments. No nagging guilt about some mistake that you think you made. You felt well. You weren’t scared, worried, disappointed. You felt young.

Is it hard to imagine yourself there? Could you ever imagine yourself being in that kind of a mental place again? Every day from now on? You can! 

Success is both a process and a destination. But, success does require a step-by-step process. And, the process starts with a decision, a step, an action. Nothing will change unless you change. Nothing will change unless you get yourself into motion. 

Success is not fame and money. That might be someone’s definition of success, but certainly not everyone’s. Success may be raising children. Success may be staying in the same job. Success may be changing jobs or career fields. Success is not necessarily an advanced degree but it might be completing an online course or finishing a book that helps you be a happier customer service representative. We’re not all destined for large lives. The media nowadays tries to convince us that fame and money equals success. But, not so. Success is happiness. And happiness is not built from wealth or fame or a big life. It’s built from what YOU want your life to be. 

True success is happiness. And, it can be simpler to find than we think.

Where are you now? What’s your life like? And, what’s missing? If you’re feeling not happy about something or not successful about something, it helps to know where you’re starting from? Where are you at now? What is it that you want to be different?

The greatest advance you can make to help you get on the path of success is to change what you think – about yourself and about your potential and future. You are what you think and what you believe IS what has, does and will happen. 

If you believe there is not enough money in your life, there never will be. You chase it away. If you believe you are not worthy of good relationships, you’ll attract people who drain your energies instead of people who lift you up and inspire you. If you believe you can’t do something, you’ll never do it. You’ve stopped yourself before you even started. 

3  Choose success

It might seem so obvious, but it’s a hidden gem. We need to choose success, and, we need to know what success looks like before we can choose it. We can have or do mostly whatever we want, if we can just decide what we want. We can have success if we can just decide what that actually means to us.

What is your highest and best calling? What do you care about most? Do you have a mission statement? Many of us don’t know what we really want to do. Ask yourself, if money were no object, what would I do with my life? 

To develop your mission statement, start with the words, “My mission is to…” Then pick an active word, any active word (a verb) that says what you will do. It should be a word that excites you. Then, finish that one short sentence with a thing or a person or people or a cause that you are having some effect on. For example, “My mission is to help people live healthier lives.” Your mission statement is not specific to work and it does not just address your personal or family life.

5  Identify what you want 

Do you really know what you want? I think a huge obstacle to finding success and happiness is just plain and simple not knowing what we want. We can do or get anything once it’s clear in our mind what we want. When you really know what you want, you can do what’s necessary to accomplish it! 

6  Put your best self forward 

When you leave your home every day, when you speak to people on the phone, when you post on social media, when you speak with people you meet, are you putting forward your best self? Or, are you acting tired, complaining about everything? Are you hydrated and rested? Are you acting like you are in the middle of the most important job interview of your life, or, are you acting like same old, same old, nothing could possibly turn out right? The energy we put forward is the energy we receive back. 

It takes mental discipline to present happiness and confidence, a person interested in the stories of others, a person neatly dressed and smiling. But, it’s important. Positive attracts positive. Opportunities and choices will appear as you switch your demeanor from tired to lively, complaining to praising, downward looking to upward thinking.

Every human being has made mistakes. We all need to forgive ourselves and move forward with a clean slate. We won’t ever progress if we carry with us the unfair weight of past mistakes. Don’t get me wrong: we need to make past mistakes right before we can lay those burdens down. We need to make amends. We need to commit to never repeating the mistakes. But, then, we need to leave them by the roadside as we walk forward in our life.

Every day, we have thousands and thousands of thoughts. If you sit still for ten minutes and count every thought or sentence that comes to mind, you’d find yourself with several dozen or more. And this happens every hour, all day long. Make your thoughts positive. Catch your negative thoughts and correct them; send them packing. Negative thoughts are not valid. They’re not true. We don’t need to listen to them.

Our mind is always trying to protect us. Keep us from applying for a job in case we don’t get it. Keep us from taking a chance in case it doesn’t work out. Keep us from thinking well of ourselves so we don’t stretch ourselves to the next level. The mind wants to keep us exactly where we’re at, small, simple, safe. But, those self-limiting thoughts aren’t valid. 

Tell yourself you are smart, able, moving forward, putting in effort, and succeeding. Turn your thoughts from defeating to completing. Turn your thoughts from doubt to certainty. As you turn your thoughts to positive, so, too, will your actions and then your outcomes turn from failure to success, doubt to confidence, fear to accomplishment.

9  Eliminate blame and resentment

No one is to blame for anything happening in our lives except for ourselves. There’s no doubt that people have made our way difficult. No doubt people have abused and hurt us. No doubt that people who could have helped us did not. No doubt we experience illnesses and unfair circumstances. But, from today, we can’t blame others for what we do or don’t do. We are free people living in a free land and we can choose success. We can choose the destiny we want to meet. To stop blaming or resenting is an act of discipline, a new way of thinking. When it’s accompanied with forgiveness, burdens will be lifted and our way will become more clear and much easier. 

10  Think kindly of others

Do you think kindly of other people? Do you know that they’re on a journey too and, perhaps, your kindness will help them along? Kindness from your heart will create kind circumstances around you. Kind actions toward people will create kind results coming back to you. Positive creates positive. 

11  Expect opportunities 

Every morning before you set out on your way, set your intention for the day and make it good! What we expect to happen, what we expect to appear, will manifest through our beliefs. Believe that you will meet someone who offers you opportunity. Believe that the day and the meetings and the work will go well. Set a positive intention to have opportunities appear throughout the day and – voila – you will start to see them appearing. What we expect is what we manifest. Expect opportunities!

12  Be connected to the Divine 

Whatever your religion, or whether you follow a particular religion or not, we live in a world which did not appear out of nowhere. We are part of creation. There is a creator. There is a life force energy that will help us if we are connected to it. The creator speaks to you all the time. He (she) is within us – every breath, every cell, every movement, every thought. To connect to the universal spirit will let us live in the flow of a positive life experience. 

13  Visualize your success

Just one minute spent a day of firmly visualizing what your success will look like can positively influence every other minute of that entire day. Try to sit still at least one minute a day and visualize you as success and you as happiness. 

14  Remove your obstacles 

The road to success is filled with potholes; it is littered with hurdles; and, there are many turns, switches and forks to navigate. Obstacles will inevitably come your way. They may seem insurmountable. But you can overcome them all. With calm thinking. New strategy. Commitment. 

15  Choose health

Health is a great affirmation of appreciating ourselves. Choosing healthy habits and taking care of ourselves says we truly value ourselves. Not only that, healthy habits and taking care of our bodies help us to have energy, think clearly and present ourselves in the world as vital and enthusiastic people. 

Ever heard the saying: “You get more bees with honey.”? You will need the cooperation and support of your family and friends, coworkers, others, if you want to succeed. We are never alone and we do not succeed or not alone. We do it with others and by the good wishes and help of others. Honey motivates. Demands don’t. Enlist your helpers. 

17  Think new

Thomas Edison was a great inventor. Perhaps he’s best known for inventing the light bulb. Every step you take toward goal success will ask you to be ab inventor – of your new path. New thinking and new strategies will open the doors. And some may have to be as genius as the light bulb itself! 

18  Strive for excellence

Set yourself apart from the rest by striving for excellence in everything you do. Half measures and mediocre, part-time efforts will not meet the goal. Your excellence will not only be noticed by others, but it will be noticed by you in your building momentum. 

It is in giving that we receive. Studies have consistently shown that those who assist others or give their time to charities or who do pro bono work are the happiest people in the world. Be ready to give some things away, to give some of your time to others. What you give away will come back to you many-fold. 

20  Create an action plan

Write a business plan for your life! Click ahead to next year 2026, then 2027, then 2028, then 2029, then 2030! What are you doing five years from now? What does your life look like? Where are you? Who are are you? Who are you with? How did you get there? Write down the steps. List out the building blocks each year to get you to your five-year goal. When you can, expand it to ten and 15 and 20 years. How exciting!

21  Master your fear

Fear can slow you down. Fear can keep you from taking the well-calculated steps necessary for your success. Fear can stop you altogether. Fear can be overcome. It takes thought, practice and execution to overcome it. Fear makes itself more than it really is. Fear is oftentimes really not about a valid, truthful reality. Fear likes to make itself up.

When I was young, I had no shortage of dreams. I had a list of a thousand things I would do and I had no lack of self-confidence. I was an enthusiastic young person and freely told anyone who would listen what I was going to do someday. You hear people say, “Beauty is wasted on the youth,” or “Energy is wasted on the youth.” I don’t think anything is wasted on the youth and I think it’s important to wonder where our youthful ideals disappeared to. And to reconnect to our greatest dreams right away! 

We need to give ourselves permission to live fully and richly. 

“Fully” asks us to experience many things, to continue learning, to balance work and fun, to invest effort and caring in our families and friends, to try new things and to lay down to sleep every night satisfied for a good day lived. To look at things with a new lens. To see success differently, but to churn through any rough waters to find our own version of simple success.

“Richly” asks us to use the fine china on a weeknight just because we can, to have a vase full of flowers on the kitchen table or to nurture a potted plant on the back porch. “Richly” asks us to give of ourselves to someone or some cause because we have something to offer humanity. “Richly” asks us to appreciate life, to be graceful, to not hurry once in a while, and to keep a good perspective and a hopeful outlook. 

Success is truly within reach – your truest definition of success for uniquely YOU! 

Start today.